I love the topic of divorce and step families. I know it sounds strange to hear that, but I do. This is a topic that I have personally experienced throughout 18 years of my life. My mom divorced when I was two years old and married my stepdad when I was about three years old. I understand that many situations that include stepparents or stepsiblings can be difficult to handle. But fortunately for me, it has been the biggest blessing in my life.
My family teacher had us watch a video in preparation to this lesson that talked about stepparents and the unrealistic verses the realistic expectation that they should have when they come into a family that technically isn’t their own. One of the examples of UNrealistic expectations was a stepparent trying to suddenly disciplining the children as if they were his or her children. This is very unrealistic because those kids have lived their whole lives without this person and have their own routine. For a stepparent to just jump in and start controlling them can become very frustrating for the kids because this guy or girl is still a stranger to them. The video mentioned that it is very important for stepparents to develop an actual relationship with the children first. They need to get to know them, their interests, their personalities, and their needs. After the stepparents has developed a loving relationship with the kids, then it would be safer for him or her to start laying down some rules around the house.
I am so grateful that my stepdad, Kevin, did this. He was VERY patient with my older brother and I, and made sure that he wasn’t trying to take over my dad’s role in our lives. He sat back and let us come to him, rather than just jumping in our lives and shoving all of his rules and parenting styles in our faces. Bless his heart, I’m sure there were times where he regretted even joining the family because my brother and I were so hard to deal with. My biological dad hated the idea of having another man in the house, raising us. He had me “brainwashed”, I guess you could say, into thinking that Kevin was never going to be a dad to me and that if I ever considered Kevin as my father figure, my dad would disown me. This stuck with me for quite a few years until I realized, at about age 12, that Kevin was the true dad in my life. He raised me, taught me how to ride a bike, went to my parent-teacher conferences, provided for me, and supported me in EVERYTHING I did. From gymnastics, to piano, to dance, to Jr. Miss, to wanting to become a nurse. He never once has made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for something. To me, that’s what a dad really is.
My parents’ divorce has definitely been the biggest blessing in my life, because without it I would not have the amazing stepdad that I do. There has been several challenges that have happened with my biological dad because of it, but in the end it is so worth it to have a man in the home that can take us to church, teach us the gospel, and give us the power of priesthood whenever we need it.
Below is a video of one of my favorite songs called “He Didn’t Have To Be”. It talks about a man to takes the place of a little boy’s father. You’ve gotta listen to the lyrics! They describe everything perfectly! (Other than the fact that I’m a girl, not a boy. Just pretend I’m the boy in the video) :)
My family teacher had us watch a video in preparation to this lesson that talked about stepparents and the unrealistic verses the realistic expectation that they should have when they come into a family that technically isn’t their own. One of the examples of UNrealistic expectations was a stepparent trying to suddenly disciplining the children as if they were his or her children. This is very unrealistic because those kids have lived their whole lives without this person and have their own routine. For a stepparent to just jump in and start controlling them can become very frustrating for the kids because this guy or girl is still a stranger to them. The video mentioned that it is very important for stepparents to develop an actual relationship with the children first. They need to get to know them, their interests, their personalities, and their needs. After the stepparents has developed a loving relationship with the kids, then it would be safer for him or her to start laying down some rules around the house.
I am so grateful that my stepdad, Kevin, did this. He was VERY patient with my older brother and I, and made sure that he wasn’t trying to take over my dad’s role in our lives. He sat back and let us come to him, rather than just jumping in our lives and shoving all of his rules and parenting styles in our faces. Bless his heart, I’m sure there were times where he regretted even joining the family because my brother and I were so hard to deal with. My biological dad hated the idea of having another man in the house, raising us. He had me “brainwashed”, I guess you could say, into thinking that Kevin was never going to be a dad to me and that if I ever considered Kevin as my father figure, my dad would disown me. This stuck with me for quite a few years until I realized, at about age 12, that Kevin was the true dad in my life. He raised me, taught me how to ride a bike, went to my parent-teacher conferences, provided for me, and supported me in EVERYTHING I did. From gymnastics, to piano, to dance, to Jr. Miss, to wanting to become a nurse. He never once has made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for something. To me, that’s what a dad really is.
My parents’ divorce has definitely been the biggest blessing in my life, because without it I would not have the amazing stepdad that I do. There has been several challenges that have happened with my biological dad because of it, but in the end it is so worth it to have a man in the home that can take us to church, teach us the gospel, and give us the power of priesthood whenever we need it.
Below is a video of one of my favorite songs called “He Didn’t Have To Be”. It talks about a man to takes the place of a little boy’s father. You’ve gotta listen to the lyrics! They describe everything perfectly! (Other than the fact that I’m a girl, not a boy. Just pretend I’m the boy in the video) :)